December Confession

Last time I felt so guilty probably last December - January (2012-2013). 'Welcome back, Greta, this December - January (2013-2014) You was as useless as last year' (Inside Voice 2014).

My, Greta Pliavgo's, last confession was 12 months ago. Afterwards, I have promised myself that I will never repeat the same mistake - never allow myself to be infatuated by Christmas again. However, dear Coventry University, I admit, I did it again!!!! Honesty, is hard thing to do nowadays, however, I will use it now to support my confession. I have worked a lot this Christmas holidays in order to make other people feel happy. I like being little Santa. I do not earn millions; however, it is enough to make others smile. So, work lately, has sucked my energy as well as my time!!! Where are these 2 weeks gone? I have no idea who should I put a blame on? Myself? For what?! For not writing dissertation everyday 500 words because I was at work? I did write every few days 1000 words. SORTED! Next… Should I blame myself that I did not execute any dance movements for 2 weeks? I excuse myself again with work: walking for 10 hours carrying plates, glasses and chairs is more than enough of physical activity. By the way, I think I have grown up my arm muscles lately. Even though I know that there will be made an imputation against me, I will try to soften your hearts: in last 2 days I have read much more books and articles, useful for me as a dancer, than in last one year. Sorry for being honest.

Then again, everybody knows that human beings are helpless in fighting with time. One day I and my friend were having a conversation which included some kind of offensiveness towards slow moving people. And you know, I know it is not right. Everybody is different and goes through life step by step with that kind of speed that they feel comfortable. But then I realized how happy they are? They do not rush; and what is funny, they are not late neither. How you, people, do that? I know myself, that if other person takes too long to answer my question, I just become soooo frustrated that he is wasting my time! And now, I sit here, listening to this video on this web site and then I understand that I should slow down! When that guy in video said that even instant gratification takes too long, I almost had a heart attack. Yeah, this is me…. To finish my confession I would like to say that the saddest think is: if I am so fast person why I cannot write my dissertation in 2 days or create a 20 minute piece in few hours? I know the answer - If I would do it, I would definitely fail! No rush, no regrets.

I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life. Amen

 http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creative-synthesis/201201/slow-intelligence